Ok, I have said it before – I am a Texas Snob when it comes to cooking. I was surfing the web the other day (my wife told me to put that I was on the web, like at age 58 and with the name of Big Al… I was surfing in the ocean!) Anyway, I came across this article about “America’s 10 Best Chili Places.” It was by some guy that works for the French magazine whose name translates to Good Appetite. Ya’ll didn’t know that I parley you France did ya? I thought that I would read about the great chili places in Dalhart, El Paso, San Antonio, Austin, Cut and Shoot (yes, that is a town in Texas!), Amarillo, Dallas and just about any Texas town that has two or more people living in it. But NO! This gentleman (and I would assume he is a Yankee), named cities like Seattle, New York, Cincinnati, and Cambridge. Yes, dear readers, Cambridge! That’s in Massachusetts, and Lord knows exactly where that is, but I do know it is above the Mason-Dixon Line.
Out of the 10 Chili Places he listed (are you ready for this?) there was only one in Texas and only one in the south! What? No, I will not tell you where he lives, so unsaddle your horse and put your shooting irons away. There was one in New Mexico, which is not bad since they got their good chili sense from us Texans. What? No, I will not tell you where I live, so you boys in New Mexico, unsaddle your horses and put them shooting irons away. Now I am sure this ole boy is a nice fellow, for a Yankee, and I have never met him, and I would bet he loves his mother, respects the flag and doesn’t kick little dogs and children. But how in the wide, wide, world of sports does he think he knows where the best Chili Places in America are? Yes dear, I have unsaddled my horse. What? No, I am keeping my shooting iron right here. Them New Mexico boys are sneaky!!
Now there are more ways to make TEXAS Chili than there are people in Texas and New Mexico. But there are certain things you just do not put in Chili! Beans are the first and here are the rest: spaghetti, chicken, turkey, and anything else that is not beef, deer, hog, goat, horse, cat, or dog. Oh settle down, I was kidding about the last three (though I would not put using horse past those boys in New Mexico.) Now you use chunks or various degrees of ground beef, and you put in some chili spices, onions, garlic, and some of “Big Al’s Chili Mix” (it’s my blog, by the way), add water and some cooks put in tomatoes. Beer is ok too if you have more than a six-pack – can’t run out of drinking beer now can you? That will make you a good Chili. You want it hot? Well, that’s your business, but I also sell hot sauce, so get to ordering!
The only Texas restaurant he listed was Tolbert’s Restaurant in Grapevine, Texas, which is just outside of Dallas. At least he got that right. Great place, great chili.
I am going to close this tirade by saying that New Mexico is a great state with great people and if there wasn’t Texas, I would live there. I will also say that I am sure these other places have what they think is great Chili, and I am sure this here fellow had good intentions telling us about these other restaurants. But they need to stick with basting lamb with some kind of sauce and leave Chili to the people who know how to make it and eat it.
Here endeth the lesson
Big Al
Texas, Febuary, 2011
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